I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
