I heard we made out
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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