You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize