Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
