you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
