He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize