Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
