After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A bitchslap is in order.
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