if you like me you must not know who I am
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
