let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
