your thong is hanging out like whoa
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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