just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My feet surprised me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
