for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
