haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
