You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
