I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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