we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
