i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
