Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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