after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
