yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
