About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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