Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize