Swine flu. Run for my life!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
