how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
