Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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