I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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