id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
