You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize