I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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