I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
