i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize