If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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