dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
