The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
