It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
