ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
