those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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