I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
