So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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