if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
