Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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