He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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