so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
