it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
