All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize