I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
