Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
