Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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