After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
