This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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