But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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