it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
