weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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