Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sext me about skeletons
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
