It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
PANTIES FOUND
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