Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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