I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
