So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
