STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
