Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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