Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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