He had one of those small greek statue penises
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
