you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
