i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
