We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
