why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
