dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
