super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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