Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
