I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
