My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
