Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
