GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize