So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
